What Are You Really Feeding Your Life With?

Junk Values…

The first time I came across this combination of words was when I was reading a book by Johann Hari, Lost Connections, where he talks about the reasons behind depression — but in fact, there is so much more to this book than just this topic. If you haven’t yet got your hands on it, I strongly suggest you do.

The “junk values” statement really hit me and led me to think more deeply about how we have polluted our lives — and continue to do so. And here are my thoughts, which just started chaining together… and now all I can think of is how we can go back to a way of living that feels most aligned, authentic, and value-driven.

When we speak about junk food, it’s very clear what the impacts are — visibly, internally. Over time, it affects our health to the point that we can’t ignore it anymore.

The thing with junk values is not as obvious. You cannot easily assess the impact or clearly see the result in shape, form, or even on a basic biochemical level. Yet, over time, junk values can destroy you just as much as junk food, if not even more.

Because they are in your life for that “feel-good” factor in the moment, that momentary relief, dopamine boost, validation, illusion of connection and belonging… and many times, they are simply an escape.

They are, though, the most dangerous kind of “junk” you can have in your life, because they don’t truly fix anything. They create an ongoing chase of that momentary relief, that dopamine spike, an escape from things we don’t want to feel, see, or address.

It’s relatively easy to “use” those junk values instead of looking into the pain and doing the work that requires you to feel the full range of discomfort, accept the truth, learn empathy towards yourself, and heal what keeps pulling you through lost and found places… only to realise you don’t truly belong to anyone or anything in that way. And that you are here, responsible for yourself.

So what are those junk values, you might wonder?

The most obvious one is the consumer mindset, the belief that we need more, that we need certain types of things to create our value, or to match a certain standard that would make us feel accepted, validated, seen by others. But this mindset is not only about buying and acquiring things. It’s also about what you consume informationally.

Endless scrolling, content addiction, swiping through dating app options, binge watching, pornography… the types of things that catch your attention easily, and then slowly drag you down the rabbit hole into the deepest kind of “junk”, without you even noticing how you got there.

Obsession with looks, shapes, and forms these days goes beyond any real understanding. The level of “fakeness” has become so acceptable that people start feeling like they are less than if they don’t change something about themselves. To only become more lovable, more likeable, more… acceptable. We’ve become so comfortable with using our bodies, showing them openly, wrapping them in smart words like body positivity and liberation, that it starts influencing how others feel, as if they don’t belong if they don’t do the same.

We’ve replaced genuine human exchange with reels and memes, gaming, chats, constant parties to be seen, and now consider that a form of social activity, which is highly disturbing… at least to me.

We lie, cheat, and betray those to whom we promised commitment and safety to chase what’s next and what’s better out there. We do to others the things we would never tolerate ourselves, or the ones that would for sure damage and traumatise us if we were to face the same. We lack compassion, respect and basic human decency.

There are so many more examples of junk values that have become part of how we live day to day, but I’ll leave some of that for your own reflection. Look at your life today. Where do you spend most of your time?

And do those values actually contribute to your growth, your development, your true heart and soul desires…

Or are they just something you are chasing to be like everyone else, to feel worthy, to ensure you are lovable…?

Empathetically Yours,
Daria Kozhukhar