You Need Softness in Hard Times.
Our lives are a mixture of so many experiences and emotions. It’s easy to feel great when things are going well, and your nervous system is in a regulated state. There is a sense of meaning, purpose, motivation and inspiration, even a burst of physical energy.
Wow, life feels great!
But what happens when things don’t go quite as well? When we are faced with challenges, it seems like everything is slowly falling apart. We might feel frustration, sadness, loss, grief, and devastation. Maybe even hopelessness on some level, and a desire to give up… “what’s the point of keep trying if I end up feeling this way?”
Trust me, I don’t just say this because it’s written in some book and sounds like a nice thing to say. Coming from personal experience of having too many heavy things happening one after another, and feeling like I was alone against the world, trying to somehow hang in there and hold on to whatever positives were still left.
What helps the most is truly slowing down, taking space from overwhelming noise, and connecting to your body through mindful movement. A low-stimulation environment — nature works best. Don’t try to hold your emotions; allow them a safe space to be felt, expressed, and released. Holding emotions in and trying to suppress them only adds pressure from within. It also adds judgment sometimes, by not allowing yourself to feel them, you subconsciously “cancel” them as valid. Yet they are yours, and they are emerging for a reason. Let them flow.
You’ve always got yourself, even when it seems like no one else is there or can relate to your pain. You can take care of your own immediate needs in the best possible way.
What helps me the most is also this thought: “What would I do for my dearest friend who was going through something similar? What would be the most loving and supportive way I could show up?”
And guess what — if you can do this for others, you can surely do this for yourself.
In the lowest points in our lives, we don’t need more pushing, self-criticism, or evaluation of what we are doing wrong.
All we truly need is softness, kindness, and gentle love. And to give ourselves some much-needed grace.
Empathetically Yours,
Daria Kozhukhar
